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My little sister is growing up - The Mad Ramblings of Nchanter [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nchanter

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My little sister is growing up [Aug. 13th, 2010|02:27 pm]
Nchanter
[emotional state |happyhappy]

So my little sister (Kim, aged 25, about to start her 3rd year in law school) just called me to apologize. For not understanding.

She's been watching "The Real L-Word" or whatever on Showtime and one of the cast members had come out to her family recently. That woman's family didn't disown her, but was "I don't wanna hear about it, why do we have to talk about this?" in attitude about it. This is how my mom and sister have always been about me being bi and poly (which is less of an issue now that I'm in a heterosexual monogamous relationship...) and has put a huge strain on my relationship with both of them. It's hard to tell them what's going on in my life when they don't want to hear about the people who I'm spending the majority of my non-work time with. So, eventually, you stop really talking or communicating about anything outside of what is necessary.

So listening to this woman on TV say, well, basically what I just said in the previous two sentences, it finally clicked for my sister. She called to apologize for not understanding that it must have been hard for me to try and compartmentalize my life so much just because it made her and mom a little uncomfortable, and that it wasn't fair to me, and she was sorry that she'd added that extra layer of stress in my life. She realizes that it might be too late to fix this, since I'm now making more "normal" relationship choices, but that she would try and be mindful about listening to me talk about things that she might not care about, or even always care to hear about, in the future, 'cause that's what you do when you care about someone.

I thought I was gonna cry. Kim and I may be very different people, but she's my sister, and I love her very much, and the fact that she decided it was worth calling me to tell me this totally made my day. I accepted her apology, am glad that it did finally click for her, and I knew that it was never out of a place of malevolence and that I was glad that she was able to understand.

Then we talked about other things, and it was good.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: asciikitty
2010-08-13 06:41 pm (UTC)
Kim's got a good heart. I'm so glad for you!
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[User Picture]From: marphod
2010-08-13 06:43 pm (UTC)
Wow.

That's awesome. Congrats (or whatever appropriate celebratory expression may be).
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[User Picture]From: drwex
2010-08-13 06:43 pm (UTC)

Like a bolt out of the blue

You never can tell when someone is going to become enlightened. I'm glad she made your day, and probably you made hers, too.
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[User Picture]From: mizarchivist
2010-08-13 07:47 pm (UTC)
Something's in the air today. Yay!
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[User Picture]From: randysmith
2010-08-13 09:37 pm (UTC)
That's wonderful; I'm glad for you!

Also neat to see you surface; you haven't posted a lot on LJ recently. I've been thinking of you on-and-off as my full bike commuting route goes by your old place. I hope the new phase of your life's going great!
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[User Picture]From: gwendolynclare
2010-08-14 04:12 am (UTC)
*dies of shock*

I mean, that's awesome!
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[User Picture]From: crazybone
2010-08-14 06:44 am (UTC)
All sorts of yay.
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[User Picture]From: pyrite
2010-08-15 12:16 am (UTC)
i'm so glad for you.
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[User Picture]From: herbie
2010-08-15 07:47 am (UTC)
This made me very happy. Give Kim my love next time you talk to her.
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[User Picture]From: supercheesegirl
2010-08-17 06:28 pm (UTC)
This is so awesome. Yay for mature and perceptive sisterness! My little heart is all warmed.
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[User Picture]From: ktpinto
2010-08-25 05:25 pm (UTC)
That's wonderful not only that she understood, but also that she took that extra step to call you and apologize!

What a great bonding moment!
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