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courtesy of my dad via e-mail... - The Mad Ramblings of Nchanter [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nchanter

[ website | nchanted.net ]
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[ archive | journal archive ]

courtesy of my dad via e-mail... [Feb. 28th, 2002|02:03 pm]
Nchanter
[emotional state |amusedamused]
[song on the wind |Moloko - Where Is The What If ... ?]

1. HOW DO YOU GET HOLY WATER? You boil the hell out of it.

2. WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL? Dam.

3. WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE? Polaroids.

4. WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN'T YOURS? Nacho cheese.

5. WHAT DO YOU CALL A BOOMERANG THAT DOESN'T WORK? A stick.

6. WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA'S HELPERS? Subordinante clauses.

7. WHAT DO YOU CALL 4 BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND? Quatro sinko.

8. WHAT DO YOU GET FROM A PAMPERED COW? Spoiled milk.

9. WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE? Frostbite.

10. WHAT LIES AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN AND TWITCHES? A nervous wreck.

11. WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS? Right where you left him.

12. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP? Anyone can
roast beef.

13. WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS? Because they have big fingers.

14. WHY DON'T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKYDIVE? Because it scares the dog.

15. WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC? Sanka

16. WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER? The location
of the dirt bag.

17. WHY DOES A PILGRIMS PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN? Because they wear their
buckles on their hats.

18. WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER? A
bad golfer goes whack, damn. A bad skydiver goes, damn, whack.

19. HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT? Unique up on it.

20. HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT? Tame way, unique up on it.

21. WHAT DO YOU CALL SKYDIVING LAWYERS? Skeet.

22. WHAT GOES CLOP, CLOP, CLOP, BANG, BANG, CLOP, CLOP, CLOP? An Amish
drive-by shooting.

23. HOW ARE A ARKANSAS TORNADO AND A TENNESEE DIVORCE THE SAME?
Somebody's gonna lose a trailer.
linkReply

Comments:
[User Picture]From: mrartichoke
2002-02-28 03:38 pm (UTC)
subordinate clauses. hehe. grammar jokes. hehe
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: knowmebymylaugh
2002-02-28 04:30 pm (UTC)

Here's a personal favorite of mine:

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink fluff

:)
(Reply) (Thread)
From: draven817
2002-02-28 08:09 pm (UTC)
That was awesome
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nchanter
2002-02-28 08:33 pm (UTC)

Re:

thank you. or thank my father...
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawnfeather
2002-02-28 08:34 pm (UTC)
thats the kind of thing My dad would enjoy... thats just sad. oh, and you now have me hooked on tool... congrats
(Reply) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: nchanter
2002-02-28 08:48 pm (UTC)
tool rocks. hehe.
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: dawnfeather
2002-03-01 09:40 am (UTC)

Re:

krissy corrupts me yet again
(Reply) (Parent) (Thread)
[User Picture]From: jhanastarblade
2002-03-01 07:38 am (UTC)

FUNNY!

I liked that.
(Reply) (Thread)