Nchanter (nchanter) wrote,

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rumble fish. it's a francis ford coppola film. i'm watching it. i love this film. it has a west side story feel. the associations are making me sick. it was better to watch on a screen at camp. once again i am left feeling alone. i don't get it. i don't want to be growing dependent. i'm not growing dependant. i'm just a clingy little girl.

i'm feeling distant right now. not from people, well yes from people, but more from myself.

maybe it's the movie that's bringing me down. maybe it's all the fish (i was watching swordfish earlier. what am i doing watching movies on such a beautiful day? feeling sorry for myself. feeling sorry that i feel empty) i'm alergic to fish you know.

it's not that big a deal. little few-hour waves of depression vs the months and months of depression that i use to get. i may still get. it's the summer. it's officially summer. i want to curl up with something. AUGH. i need to stop this....
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