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that was a bad idea if i ever EVER again say i'm going to vics… - The Mad Ramblings of Nchanter — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nchanter

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[Jun. 12th, 2002|02:24 am]
Nchanter
[emotional state |distresseddistressed]

that was a bad idea

if i ever EVER again say i'm going to vics house, remind me that you will shoot me if i do

he was on e. he was being all flirty and stuff. paul left, leaving us alone. we started playing alittle. somewhere along the line he got the idea that he was a dom and all of a sudden he stopped. he "just couldn't do this"

I GOT SHUT DOWN BY ONE OF MY SOUL MATES

hell, clothes weren't off and he shut down. and then i started crying. and i don'tknow why well i do but i didn't then and he went over to his littledrugtable blew a couple of lines called noah noah was going to come over and they were going to do shots but in the mean time he wanted to be alone he kicked me out after shutting me down i feel like such a slut right now for three years he's been trying to talk me into being a fuck friend And now he realised he cares too much

all i wanted was to curl up with someone safe

i always forget how drugged out he's become.....
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: sugary828
2002-06-12 09:23 am (UTC)
Poor Kris, I'm so sorry...

It's hard to go back to Lex, any part of it. Noah's hanging out with Vic regularly now? ack, so strange... who are these people now? No one, not even Vic now, is who they used to be!
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[User Picture]From: nchanter
2002-06-12 11:21 am (UTC)
wrong noah.

and the problem with vic is that he hasn't changed enough. we haven't changed enough. it was just way to emotionally painful to be around eachother the minute one of us got through the other's walls. i could have fell in love with him again that night. that would have been desasterouse....
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[User Picture]From: rekling
2002-06-12 03:04 pm (UTC)
::hugs::
i don't know the people...but...i'm sorry it hurts...
dealing with drugged out friends is always painful, dealing with people you care about at all always has the potential to be painful...
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[User Picture]From: nchanter
2002-06-12 03:22 pm (UTC)
thanks sugar
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[User Picture]From: opeth
2002-06-12 08:05 pm (UTC)
::hug::

I shall see you soon, no drugs, unless you want wine.
I am sorry I was not up at that point.
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