September 22nd, 2002


(no subject)

i had the worst headache in the world last night. light was making it worse. i took advil volentarily, it was that bad. right now i am on a break from cleaning my room, my head was starting to spin. if it doens't get better once i'm done writing this enty i will give up for the day and go do my laundry with james (yes i chose to clean over seeing james earlier. i just got in this groove and my room ALWAYS needs cleaning, and i never do it) earlier yesterday i went down to providence to visit chloe. last time i went and saw her down there was sometime while dan was still in medford. i say this, 'cause i never realized that she lived so close to dan's mother's house until yesterday. like 10 minutes away, just one exit down. i was like "you know, i was right near here alot this summer. damn." she's not doing as well as a chloe should be doing, but it was great hanging out with her. we went to thayer street and walked around and there was some sort of craft-street fair. it was pritty. i got a (black) sweater from urban outfitters. then we went to a beauty supplly store. got pritty purple dye and more bleach, for when i need to re-do my hair. i got bleach in bulk, this is probably not good. oh well. (note, it takes three packs of the bleach they sell at newbury comics or anywhere else to do my entire head, and the fact that i bought half a pound of powder and a leater of developer for less than two packs would cost, is good). after that i hung out with the siren, saw her new room. it's dark, it's pritty, but i wouldn't want to live in there, just 'cause i would get way too depressed. hell, i get depressed in the room with walls of white. but we had fun, watched pritty in pink 'cause it was on the TV, and talked about stupid people. i like hanging out with jen. drove home. got a call from IRIS. i am seeing her sometime next weekend IF i don't go and see alan in pennsilvania. i really really want to see him, but the drive will kill me, or nearly kill me, and he is going to be up here in like three weeks or something. plus i have other stuff i should do, and if i don't go down he's goign to go to dc and protest the IMF. hmmmm... i think things are weighing towards not visisting him. i don't really have another time to go down before like, march (yea for theatre!) but the more i think about it, the more i think i'm not going to go. plus i have a paper that i'm goign to have to work on soon, and a project for ways of seeing, yea ok. that's it. i'm not going. :-( BUT that means i get to see IRIS. i haven't seen iris in atleast 6 months, i was still at csw when i last saw her, so yea, i guess she kinda wins out, though now she's going to school in portland, MAINE instead of living in portland, OREGON, so i should beable to see her more. wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

ok, i think i'm done now. back to cleaning, i want to be at harvard before 3.

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    productive productive

(no subject)

i need to remember myself that he's not inconsiderate, just completely obliviouse sometimes....

but it still hurts.


also, is it possible to feel too much?

*added on still more*

this is why i miss living with iris and gwen. anytime i got really upset and wanted to curl up and cry, even if it was silly, i could run to their room and do such. i probably could with annie if i really needed to, but she's not home, and i don't feel like asking panda girl if she would hold me while i cry. i miss gwen. maybe i'll call her. no no, i don't want to bring her down. yes it's ok when i'm living with someone to bring them down, it's not when they are 200000000000 miles away.

*last add on, i swear*

i can't live in this apartment anymore. it's not any one person's fault, or even the fault of the other people who live here. the energy is not right, the layout and functionality of the space in general doesn't work. no, i'm not giving my 60 days quite yet, i'm going to look for a place and try and move out around christmass. somewhere T accessable but also where i can still keep my car. (i'm not willing to give it up quite yet). brookline would rock, or even a different place in watertown. if anyone is looking to move around then, or anyone knows someone else who is looking for a place, drop me a line.

ok, i go see james now.
  • Current Mood
    melancholy melancholy