February 4th, 2003

nchanted

(no subject)

stuff i can't write on livejournal.... stuff i'm not enough of a bitch to write on livejournal.... stuff that will possibly lose me friends if i were to write on livejournal....

i think i'll just say that i am, despite my own insecurities about myself, completely and totally 10000% smitten with my relationship.
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dark

(no subject)

i am currently very disgusted by some people's actions on livejournal. no, not just one person. no, not just one group. it's like "we're way too good of people to be bitches IRL, so we're going to do this online. becuase it isn't really real online, in print, in written word that can be saved, documented, recorded, copied, altered, re-read, and then duplicated over 20,000 times. this hurts less than chalkind up to emotion and spur of the moment." this also allows people to say they were mis-understood, or joking, when you checked, and no they weren't. 'cause they really did remove so and so from their friends list. ok, now i'm getting specific. but so have the rest of you. and no, it's not just that group. it's half of the livejournal community. voyers who thrive off of middle school soap opera name slining drama. and yes, i find it amusing from time to time, and yes, i bitch about people on my livejournal too, but nothing i wouldn't say to their face, and i rarely, if ever, take anything back that i post on my journal. i post it on my journal so i am held accountable for what i say, what i'm feeling, and to try and deminish my own hypocracy. yes i've been calling a few people hypocrites in the last few days, and yes, this could be the pot calling the kettle black. i know that. fuck you.

and most of these people i like being around IRL. this is just bullshit of the most enormouse magnitude, and none of this would be going on if livejournal (or dead journal or u journal or anything like it) specific didn't exist. you wouldn't be doing this in e-mails, with everyone watching, you wouldn't be doing this on aim, in chat rooms, in private chat rooms for this group of friends, and you sure as hell wouldn't be doing it on a "real" web page.

and i am going to sit here, and still read it, and still comment, and still rant, because i find it facinating how low people can be to people they use to care about, and maybe still claim to do, and now slash to further their relationships with other people or to boost their own faltering self esteem. becuase all of you are very insecure people. your religion helps boost your own sense of self worth. and there is nothing wrong with that, except you use to critisize people i use to be much closer with for the same thing. you are just as dillusional as they were. and think your not dillusional, fine i agree, but then neither were they. different ways of looking at the elephant, and the more i see yours, the more i miss thiers. there atleast use to be an order to this bullshit. yes, you may talk to god, but honey, that doesn't make you god, or even nessisarily what you are doing right.


ok, here comes the flame. i dare you.



oh and one more addition, before i forget. some of our friends are having real problems, real things in their lives sucking. and i'm not meaning me and having my computer stolen, i mean things that matter. some people, have real pain, and honestly, i'm putting most of my energy and attention towards that, when i can.


oh, also, to those who expressed concern for me and what's going on, thank you, but really, i'm fine. but unfortunately, others i care about are not.
dark

(no subject)

for anyone who doesn't already know, i am summarily not at all availible until after the 11th, and not really availible until after valentines day weekend. if you think you need to see me before then, you may patition me at nchanter_x@yahoo.com and i will review it and maybe squeeze you in post 11pm one night.

it's called working a show baby, welcome to the rest of my life.

oh? i'm being self rightiouse? tough.