February 5th, 2005



Even though my tummy is being a bit ooky at the moment, I am resolved to write a post about how happy I am at the moment (well, not immediate moment, but rather, with my life right now.) Part of my reasons for doing this is that I know I tend to write more to work out frustration, so y'all see an imbalance picture, and I desire to correct that. Another is to document it, so if, around finals I feel like I hate school again I may return to this and remeber that life doesn't suck, just finals do. Third is to spred the word that I am happy, despite all the suck that was 2004. I am also not use to being this happy. Why am I happy, you ask? There are a few reasons that combined make me feel this way. The most recent is, of course, school.

It's kinda scary to be back, but I had truly forgotten how much I *love* learning, and how much I enjoy the classroom environment. No, I don't suddenly love homework or anything, but I finally understand the nessesity of it, and I don't resent or despise it as I once did. It's part of my responsibility if I want to participate in the classroom environment that I do really enjoy. I'm being intellectually stimulated by things I would not always choose to seek out on my own, and that's good. I'm also in school, not just to learn, but working towards a goal. This is a very important to me. I've stepped up and decided, not so much to be an adult, though I am in some ways, but to start on the path towards being a sustainable productive member of this society, and that's good.

Another major thing in my life that is makeing me happy is my current social life, and my relationships. I am in relationships with people I care for a great deal, all in different ways, and that are all generally low-stress which is important. The expectations that Darxus and I have for eachother seem reasonable, and we communicate fairly well togeather. As we move closer to moveing in togeather i'm becomeing a bit nervious, because it's a big adult thing to do, but I am really excited, not just 'cause it will make life easier, but also because he is a positive influence on me in so many wonderful ways which I don't even fully understand yet, and I feel more at ease, comforatable, and at home when I'm around him. :-)

My friends are great too. The social circle that I run in most of the time these days... I just feel like I belong, and it seems a much more stable, and is definately a much more supportive group, than the only other group I ever felt liked I really belonged in.

So yea, despite all the unhappyness of 2004, 36 days into 2005 and i'm happy. The only thing I can think that would make me happier, besides haveing a few close friends move back to Boston, or haveing more hours per day and more days per week, is to be liveing with Darxus already. That is not all that far away now, and I will survive until it happens.

  • Current Music
    Gigi D'Agostino Vs Magic Box - Another Carillon