alan and i broke up.
it was mutual. neither one of us is in love with eachother anymore. however, we both realized this at the same time, talked about it, and made a logical and adult decision that we should probably break up. though he is still is my best friend. we're both showing up at csw for a while togeather on thursday. (and going out to lunch with ben ibbitson) we still will be cuddling, and i will still call him whenever i hit one of my minor existensial crisises. all and all, mostly what will be changing is how much time we see eachother when he's actually home, and we won't be having sex.
i cried when it happened, i'm not heartless, he was sad, but it was ok. sometimes these things just need to happen. sometimes things just need to end. just 'cause we're poly doesn't mean heartbreak doesn't exist. but honestly, it was the most logical breakup ever. and probably the least painful, esp for that of a one year relationship.
now i just wish i had gwen's dorm number so i could have called her to talk about this.. i miss her... esp now.