||[May. 21st, 2003|04:06 pm]
Account type: Paid Account|
Date created: 2001-03-03 13:40:59
Date updated: 2003-05-20 23:25:58, 13 hours ago
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that makes this my 1002nd LJ entry. i've had a livejournal for... 2 years, 2 months, and 17 days and 10 hours. i make 1.24 posts per day. don't i rock.
and on a completely different note, i e-mailed my rents about school finally.
So I’ve tried talking about this a few times but anytime I start I just freeze, so I’m writing about it in an e-mail, after talking to Susan about it.
School. I failed. What I didn’t withdraw from this semester I failed, mainly as a result of lack of motivation to get out of bed ‘cause of the depression I was experiencing. I am now working that out with her, and it hopefully won’t be a problem again. I’ve been trying to figure out what I want to do from here. I really think I need a little bit of time off from "school." I don’t know what I’m doing there, and it makes me less motivated in my work there. If I don’t see the point in something, it’s 20 times harder for me to get it done. You guys know that about me. So the idea I’ve come up with is this:
For next semester I would like to not be in school full time. I would like to A-Take Arabic through Harvard Extension (something I’ve wanted to do forever AND wherever I do end up going for a degree will require me to do a language, and it’s not like anywhere doesn’t recognize credits from Harvard.), enroll in the massage school I’ve been looking at in Cambridge, which is a full day and a night obligation, maybe take a photo class or other art class at Mass Art or The Museum School, and then also do volunteer work, possibly in an after school program, or maybe working with aids or a gay rights organization.
My second "alternative" plan, if you insist on me being in school full time somewhere, is just taking classes that seem interesting and/or fun to me, at the minimum load for full-time status, so I can explore interests and options out there, or maybe one course that is a general requirement and then the rest that are fun and interesting.
My big thing here is a need a motivational force, a reason to being doing this, and I know the reason is ‘cause "well that’s how you get places and stuff" but that’s just not enough for me right now. I need to have some passion for what I’m learning/studying, or have a goal in mind, and I want to be given the opportunity to explore that.
so yea, that's that. fun.
and mommy just e-mailed me back
Interesting you should bring this up now. I just wish you felt more comfortable to talk about all this when things are going on so there are not so many surprises. As you may realize by now, we got a letter from Emerson in the mail yesterday, which has to be dealt with in a manner that will reflect the best on you in case you decide to go back at some point. So you really need to talk with us about this on the phone.
I want Dad to be around so that you and I don't get upset with each other in case I say something inappropriate or that makes you shut down. That is not my intent. I really want all of this to work out for you -- as does Dad.
There are also other issue surrounding your decision that need to be discussed as well. We will call you this evening -- Dad is not here at the moment. I will show him your email before he calls so he knows where you are coming from. It can all be worked out -- thanks for corresponding.
We will call this evening.
so scared of said "other issues" they translate to taxes, car insurance, medical insurance, money. if we have so much of it, why can't i take time to figure out what i want to do intead of wasting another 30,000 on a year of school?