||[Aug. 8th, 2003|10:44 am]
hey guys, thanks for the hugs and stuff. i actually fell asleep last night, actually talking to gwen about real stuff helped.
it wasn't just the one thing that made me upset last night, well, it was, but that one thing opened up a whole big-ass floodgate of issues, like how i've mostly never felt like i really belonged anywhere. that's part of the reason i choose hanging out with katie over going to crumps party last weekend. i never felt like i really belonged there, it was always ok for me to go to them 'cause i was alan's girlfriend (i know, silly) but, i dunno. yea, i'm silly.
and i'm kinda sad that i can't go to janet's party, but i'm hosting a B-Day party for a friend, and that promises to be fun with a different group of kids.
I'm still not sure about my party. I think that would be fun, but i had told siren i would go to something with her that night (i knew there was a reaosn that friday wouldn't work) but i kinda really want to have a party this summer, for lots of differnt people (show krissy that you love her!) and i DID get it OKed by my landlord... :-) so i think i am going to. party details will be posted later today. RSVP's to that comment, would be nice. also, directions and contact info can be found in my memories section (the post is veiwable to friends only) but my e-mail address is on my info page if you can't view that, or need to get ahold of me otherwise.
don't want to be sad anymore. lunch with steve will help. date with brian tonight will really help.
oh, and i talked with cos last night about the shiney new toy thing. it's not so much that i'm shiny and new, it's more that i SHINED and cought alot of people's eyes. i think i can live with that. ;-)