||[Oct. 6th, 2003|06:11 pm]
yes children, i've started smoking again. the emotional crap i'm dealing with is running to high. i've been crying too much. one pack. this pack should last me through this shit. actually, hopefully i won't need the whole thing. i stole the pack from Dave (i told him) and he told me to buy him another one, but i kinda remember a pack i gave him minus three ciggs the last time this shit was going on, so i'm going to smoke this pack minus three cigs and then call it even.
hopefully i can stop being cryptic soon, sorry to keep you in suspense dearies, i just need to know what's going on first before i tell any of you. it's hard, really hard, and i feel like dying one minute and dancing with destiny the next. hell, there are moments i think i'm doing both
i have faith that it will work itself out the way it's supposed to in the end. i have faith, go me.