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On friendships - The Mad Ramblings of Nchanter [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nchanter

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On friendships [Jun. 8th, 2005|03:01 pm]
Nchanter
[emotional state |grumpygrumpy]

There are so many different types, and this past week has made me think of the many types.

I have a best friend. I have a best friend I can *wake up* at random hours and she won't be upset 'cause she'll know I need it, and she can do the same. That rocks

I have a close-nit group of female friends, that I trust my life with. I would also trust any of them to be alone in a room with my primary. That is so cool.

I have a wider circle of friends, who I for the most part trust. Some of them make odd judgements sometimes, but they all seems to learn, and they are, for the most part, reasonable and responsible. (I can invite people over and not have to worry about things getting broken as the result of a party. Apparently, most "normal" people worry about this when throwing parties in their 20s. hugh. sucks to be them)

However, I have a friend, who I use to like very much, who has been grating on my nervs, who has been grating on other people's nervs more than mine. I can kinda deal with it/put up with it one-on-one with this person, but this person is often unbearable in group settings. So much so, that I consider not inviting said person and said person's partner to social events I am planning on hosting, because I know it will significantly decrease the enjoyment of my other friends who sometimes just can't push this person out of their head, or ignore them. I have also, in the past, tried to bring this up to said person, and this person took it rather well at the time, but I may have not been clear enough as no behavior has changed. Or rather, I thought I saw a change for a little bit (one or two parties) and then they have reverted back to the old behavior. Either my tolerance has changed, or this person has really gotten worse in the last few social settings I have seen them in.

Would you want to know? Would you want to know even if you felt hurt by it? How would you go about telling someone this information in a non-threatinging non-confrontational way? Would you explain that this is part of the reason they may have felt "left out" of somethings? I know I should try and not bring other people into it, and say that "this is what I have observed" and so on. But I'm looking for much more advice.

-K
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: tisana
2005-06-08 07:37 pm (UTC)
*sigh*
As confused and hurt as I might be by it, I'd want to know. I mean, this is how I found out someone wanted to end our friendship (such as it was)...she made a vague post about "a friend" and I thought, "Gee, if I didn't think it odd that she'd post where I could see it, I'd say she's talking about me."
Well, whaddaya know.
She was.
But we handled it well--she told me why she didn't see we had much of a friendship, I agreed, and we went our own ways, and were cool.
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