Real life should be more like D&D. No, really. Instead of actually having to come up with a toast to give tomorrow, I could roll a d20 (i feel like this might be a diplomacy check. Hopefully it's not a bluff check.) do some arithmatic, and say something like "[character name] says something whitty, and makes the bride cry." Instead I'm going to attempt to say something whitty, fail, and probably trip over my toung in the process.
Also, is it in bad taste to threaten the groom in a toast at his wedding?