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Oh come oh come Emanuel... - The Mad Ramblings of Nchanter — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]
Nchanter

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Oh come oh come Emanuel... [Dec. 17th, 2006|11:34 am]
Nchanter
[Tags|]
[emotional state |contemplativecontemplative]
[song on the wind |The First Noel]

I find myself listening to the church service on WBUR this morning. It's Advent. One of the things I miss most about being Christian, actively passionately Christian, is the Seasons of Advent, Christmass, and Epiphony. They are a beautiful time of year. And the best part of Christianity shines through. Lots of beutiful soulful pagentry. It's... the whole thing is making me a little nastalgic. For people who have become less glorious or more biggoted, and for a congregation that turned concervative and judgemental. For a time when I belived in anything that much. I've grown cynical, bitter, and jaded at the age of 24.

I've been at odds with my Christianity since I stopped identifying as such. I'm pagan, not because I stopped believing in Christ, or even his divinity. I believe in the Holy Trinity. I believe in the teachings of the son of the One God. I believe in the power of the holy spirit to lift your fears and alieviate your pains and guide you on a path of light. I believe in a father god, who has a chosen people, who is vengful and trying and requirese obediance. But I do not believe he is the only god, and there are times when I worship other gods before Him. I am not good at obediance, and I believe it is His fault that Lucifer was cast out of heaven never to return. I do not believe in absolute good or absolute evil. But I do believe in heaven and hell.

I believe in other things too, decidedly not Christian. But that's not what this post is about. I wear a pentical proudly, as a sign of my beliefs. Sometimes I wear a sun instead, but it is the same to me as a pentical. The sun is something to be revered, as it is the source of all life. But I do not wear a cross anymore. Assumptions, false assumptions, are made upon doing so. But assumptions are also made when I do not. I wish I could wear a cross again, to support that part of my faith, and even more, my heratidge. I was raised in the Church, which is something most people don't know about me. My great great uncle (deceased) has people, including my great uncle, an Antiochian Orthodox Preist, trying to get him made a Saint. He was the head of the Church I grew up in, and was excommunicated for challanging it. I feel like that's something I should be proud of.
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Comments:
[User Picture]From: ricevermicelli
2006-12-17 05:31 pm (UTC)
I have similar feelings around this time of year, especially about the hymn you quote in the sig line. I don't believe that humanity needs to be saved. I don't believe we are forever tainted by the sins of our ancestors. I don't believe in the coming judgement, and I have no time for a vengeful or irrational G-d, but I do believe in the yearning for the presence of divinity, especially at this, the darkest part of the year. The minor key exhortation to rejoice moves me nearly to tears.
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