Nchanter (nchanter) wrote,

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My little sister is growing up

So my little sister (Kim, aged 25, about to start her 3rd year in law school) just called me to apologize. For not understanding.

She's been watching "The Real L-Word" or whatever on Showtime and one of the cast members had come out to her family recently. That woman's family didn't disown her, but was "I don't wanna hear about it, why do we have to talk about this?" in attitude about it. This is how my mom and sister have always been about me being bi and poly (which is less of an issue now that I'm in a heterosexual monogamous relationship...) and has put a huge strain on my relationship with both of them. It's hard to tell them what's going on in my life when they don't want to hear about the people who I'm spending the majority of my non-work time with. So, eventually, you stop really talking or communicating about anything outside of what is necessary.

So listening to this woman on TV say, well, basically what I just said in the previous two sentences, it finally clicked for my sister. She called to apologize for not understanding that it must have been hard for me to try and compartmentalize my life so much just because it made her and mom a little uncomfortable, and that it wasn't fair to me, and she was sorry that she'd added that extra layer of stress in my life. She realizes that it might be too late to fix this, since I'm now making more "normal" relationship choices, but that she would try and be mindful about listening to me talk about things that she might not care about, or even always care to hear about, in the future, 'cause that's what you do when you care about someone.

I thought I was gonna cry. Kim and I may be very different people, but she's my sister, and I love her very much, and the fact that she decided it was worth calling me to tell me this totally made my day. I accepted her apology, am glad that it did finally click for her, and I knew that it was never out of a place of malevolence and that I was glad that she was able to understand.

Then we talked about other things, and it was good.
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